What will I leave behind?
When I think of Legacy, the subject is vast but one of my favorite thoughts that comes to mind is a statement made by one of my students in a Soulful End of Life Vision Map class:
“I die, things stay behind, may they bless you.”
This speaks to my direct and pragmatic nature!
Simply put, our Legacy can be thought of as what is left behind after our body dies. In a wider context our legacy could also be what we leave behind when we transition in life, such as retirement, graduation, and other pivotal moments in life. It is as unique as our fingerprint and can be expressed in so many ways, such as material possessions, money resources, memories, traditions, music, art, values, and words recorded on paper, audio or video.
In my own family, a few of the legacy expressions that have been deeply meaningful to me are written history. For example, my mom’s family came from Holland on a ship and homesteaded in Alberta. Various members of the family have collaborated to record the journey from the time of making the decision about leaving life in Holland, farming and homesteading on the harsh prairies, years of struggling for survival, trials and tribulations of family life, eventual successes, and stories about all the family members. I learned so much from this recorded history that my parents have never told me about, and it has given me insight about what has shaped my mom’s life and how she became the person I know. With this background I am able to feel more compassion and respect for her and my family, and have an awareness of possible ancestral trauma. Another example is a book my cousin Patricia Conrad wrote and published (https://www.abebooks.com/signed/Gentle-Darkness-Deaf-Mothers-Journey-Alzheimers/1355529360/bd) about her mother’s life (my aunt Sis) and her unique journey with deafness and eventually Alzheimer’s disease. Again, I gained insight about my mom’s upbringing that has enriched my life. Another cousin, Tammy Smith, has written and published a memoir (https://www.tammytyree.com/) about a life changing traumatic event that caused the death of her husband and changed the course of her life, thus creating a legacy and resource for her entire family. Many family members are influenced by writing projects like these, including descendants not yet born.
I recently met a new neighbor who is creating her large extended family tree through research using geanology.com and various other public record. By reaching out to hear the stories from distant relatives, including dead relatives in newspaper stories, she has unearthed tales that have filled in missing gaps of her family’s history. (https://www.genealogy.com/)
Some of the ways a legacy can be expressed are:
-embodied, to me this means actions that express values, beliefs, and character, such as:
-my parents’ hours and hours of volunteer work supporting my activities
-My dad’s consistent dedication to staying at my mom’s side for hours each day despite her no longer even knowing who he is, due to Alzheimer’s disease, provides strength and inspiration to my efforts to embody my values
-voiced – telling your stories and having the conversations with your loved ones that express your deepest held emotions, values, guiding principles. Talking about pivotal times in your life, big decisions, your hopes and dreams behind the choices made, can help our descendants understand our life, and gain insight from our lessons learned.
-recorded – written, such as examples above. We can also audio and video record messages that are most important to us. See links below.
-artistically expressed – works of art, craft, anything created by our own hand
-music – music created by us or favourite music we have loved and the message it carries
-financial – money, a home, a business, “the farm” and other assets gifted to loved ones, charities or organizations
-estate planning, advance care directives, and critical illness planning – completing this planning ahead of time is an act of love for your family and loved ones who may be making decisions on your behalf if you are unable to, due to illness, and closing your estate after your death.
At the end of my life, when I review the decisions I made, actions I took, what I said or didn’t say, who I invested my time and life energy on, how will I feel? The first question that comes to mind for me now is: How have I helped others to feel love?
Today, I feel grateful for the people and experiences I have loved, and grief if they are no longer present. Appreciation for blessings that have come my way and regret for times that my actions may have negatively affected others, frustration for not being seen or heard while always learning to use my voice and actions authentically, being in awe of the magic and mystery, and fulfilled through challenges, all at the same time.
I approach every day as an opportunity to create, live, embody, and give expression to my legacy, and I am grateful to have another day of life to ask myself, “what do I want to be remembered by”
True wealth is not measured in money or status or power. It is measured in the legacy we leave behind for those we love and those we inspire.
CESAR CHAVEZ
Links to just a few legacy resources:
Advance care planning in BC : https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/more/health-features/planning-advanced-care
Critical illness plan : https://planwellguide.com/
Create a book with pictures and written stories : https://welcome.storyworth.com/
Record life stories : http://recordmenow.org/
Ethical will : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CFXLQl9aEg
Ethical will worksheet : https://www.everplans.com/articles/ethical-will-worksheet
Meet Keri
Your guide, advocate, caregiver, companion, coach, and facilitator
I have had the privilege of caring for patients as a Registered Nurse in a variety of specialties, including Hospice, for over 3 decades. Now I spend my time as an End of Life Doula, helping my clients through their end-of-life journey, so they express what is most precious, sacred, and important to them in Life and in Death.